A song by Mei Amanodel
Let me tell you a tale of Vaugan the brave
Whose quick wit and steel heart kept vi'lence at bay!
At harbor we anchored from journey so long
When a man picked the fight that inspired this song.
While framed by dark sails of vi'let and midnight,
He challenged my love to a bout of birthright.
For Vaugan, you see, was goliath — not man!
The poor seaman said he'd rather a courtesan
Come aboard and share the deck of his vessel
Than Vaugan, who belonged in a kennel.
"A man such as you," Vaugan said with a glare,
"Should speak no ill with such tiny teeth to bare.
You're small and you're weak, and you insults need work —
The women you speak of eat you with a fork.
But your looks and your wit aren't worst of it all,
For what is that puddle which spreads from your small?"
The sailor stood slack-jawed, as if in a trance.
Vaugan's words left him shook: He had wet his pants.